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March 13, 2007

I'm Not A Dr. Phil, But, I Play One On TV.....

Via Peter Abraham -

[Alex] Rodriguez has a clause in his contract that would enable him to opt-out at the end of the season. He spoke about that possibility in an interview on WFAN radio.

"At some point either New York is going to say I've had enough of this guy, get him the hell out of here. We have an option. Or New York is going to say, hey, we won a World Championship, we had a big year, you're a part of if; we want you back.

"I also want to make sure, from the fans (and) management, I'm wanted here."

It's true confession time. Alex Rodriguez and I have something in common.

Like A-Rod, I sometimes allow my anxiety to get the better of me - and I create pressure for myself in situations where many would deem it unwarranted. And, when that happens, instead of allowing my talent and experience carry me through the moment, I tense up and under-perform. Further, like A-Rod, I feel - almost all of the time - that I need to make those around me happy with my efforts. This includes my parents, wife, kids, other family, friends, bosses at work, and co-workers. And, because I want to see satisfaction from those around me with respect to what I'm doing, that adds more pressure (in my mind) to do well.

This is where it gets ugly because then I become anxious about that pressure and create more pressure on top of the pressure that I've created in the first place. By compounding the pressure, I become stressed - and then depressed because I am stressed. So, in the end, I'm anxious, pressured, pressured some more, stressed and depressed. It's a very unhappy chain of events.

However, after going through this routine at times for the last 30 years or so, I'm now at a stage in my life where I can see myself when I'm doing it. These days, most of the time, knowing what road the momentum will travel if I allow it to happen, and wanting to avoid such a situation, I make an effort to check myself and get away from the negative suction of the whole cycle.

For me, I've found that having an outlet that I enjoy, and using it as a distraction, sometimes works to break the pattern as it is forming - and it provides a great stress release. Still, what's worked best for me is just coming to the conclusion that so much of what I would allow myself to stress over was really small change in the grand scheme of things. By this, I mean, even if the worst thing happened in these situations, it was not going to kill me. At the worst, it would be something that I could come back from and survive. And, it was not going to change anything that was truly important in my life - meaning being healthy and enjoying the gifts and blessings that I am so lucky to have around me.

In a nutshell, I look at the small stuff now and simply say "Two tears in a bucket, mother [bleep] it" - right in its face (and move on). There comes a time when you have to realize that the only thing that will make you happy is you allowing yourself to feel happy. And, I know it now.

Alex Rodriguez has many gifts and blessings around him - and he's lucky to have them (as anyone in that position would be to have them). I hope that one day Alex gets to that point in his life where he realizes it's not about other people - it's all about him - in terms of whose opinion matters the most. There's only one person in this world who can truly make him happy - and it's the guy looking at him when he stands in from of the mirror.

And, if A-Rod decides to leave the Yankees, it won't be because the Yankees team and its fans did not make him feel wanted here. If he leaves, it will be the result of Rodriguez' inability to see what really matters in life (and what does not). It will not be 'New York' that runs A-Rod out of town, it will be him running towards something not realizing that it's already right where he was - within him. Alex Rodriguez will be happy when he learns that he must allow himself to feel happy.

There's a song by Altered Images called "I Could Be Happy." It goes like this:

I would like to climb high in a tree.
I could be happy, I could be happy.
Or go to Skye on my holiday.
I could be happy, I could be happy.
Maybe swim a mile down the Nile?
I could be happy, I could be happy.

All of these things I do,
All of these things I do,
to get away from you.

Get away, run away, far away, how do I...
Get away, run away, far away, how do I...
escape from you?

I never really thought about the meaning of those lyrics until I started thinking about this A-Rod thing tonight.

There's a good chance that those lyrics, when they refer "(escape from) you" are not talking about a person other than yourself. The words could very well be referring to someone escaping from themselves.

This is what Alex Rodriguez needs to do. He needs to make the change/escape. It has nothing to do with the Yankees and/or their fans.

Yeah, harder done than said. But, it's not impossible.

Back in May of 2005, Alex's wife was quoted as saying, about A-Rod, "It's because of therapeutic intervention that he's been able to discover and flourish as a person." Based on Alex's comments on WFAN today, it sounds like there's still some more discovery needed. I hope it happens soon for him. It should make a world of difference in how he enjoys his life.

Posted by Steve Lombardi at March 13, 2007 10:11 PM

Comments

Seriously... amazing entry Steve.

Posted by: DownFromNJ [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2007 11:29 PM

I look at this the same way I look at Rivera's "respect" comments earlier.

If Rodriguez opts out, he opts out. If he comes back he comes back.

There the events of 2006 from a media standpont were ridiculous.

In order for me to make any comments about his supposed inability to perform under pressure, I'd have to look at the whole man. A handful of at-bats isn't going to cut it, when looking at the big picture.

Posted by: Raf [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 13, 2007 11:39 PM

At this point in the career, A-Rod should be able to play where he's wanted. It's the respect thing, and he deserves it. Sure, you can deride him for not "toughing it out" in New York where every day is a wrestling match with the media, and tell him "that's all part of the job," but when it comes down to it Alex has earned the right to go where he wants. It's not up to us, you're right, it's up to him, and whatever he does we should respect it. He's a HOF player, and if he wants to leave for the greener pastures of Chavez Ravine then all the best to him. I, for one, will certainly miss his hard work and love for the game, and Steve, I know you will too.

Posted by: Andrew [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 14, 2007 09:42 AM

Great entry, Steve. I wish happiness for A-Rod too.

As bizarre as it seems to say this about someone as wealthy as ARod, but I do have some sympathy for him. ARod had a rough time of it early in life. From what I can tell, he was abandoned by his father at an early age and he didn't have the kind of nourishing paternal presence that someone like Jeter had. It's not surprising that he seeks to be loved by everyone -- that he seeks a love that was not forthcoming to him as a child.

If appreciation has to come from another organization, so much the worse for the Yankees. Still, I hope that Torre realizes this and that he can make it happen for ARod with the Yankees. After all, realizing the divergent needs of his players is exactly why they pay Torre so much more than any of the other managers.

Posted by: jonm [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 14, 2007 12:46 PM